Llamatorium

I am a participant in a project to remember those we have lost on September 11th. The 2,996 Tribute Project. People volunteered to sign up and each person would be assigned someone to post a memorial about. I felt moved by this project because I was so effected by the events on September 11, 2001 while I watched the events unfold with my own eyes. I will never forget that day and I imagine that the family of Grace Alegre-Cua will never forget that day either.

I was randomly assigned a victim from the 9/11 attacks. Her name was Grace Alegre-Cua. She was a beautiful Filipino woman who immigrated to the United States in the early 1980's and was an accountant and vice president at Mitsui Bank located at World Trade Center, Tower 2, 83rd floor. She worked for Mitsui Bank for 15 years... but she almost worked for someone else 15 years earlier when she went on a fated interview at Metropolitan Bank. The job was already filled but the man who interviewed her, did it as a favor to the General Manager of the bank. His name was Ildefons (Eddie) Cua and he found love in the South tower that day in 1986 when he met Grace Alegre. It is a sweet story about fated love.. and tears spring to my eyes when I think of the loss that this family must feel.

Grace lived with her husband and two children, Nicole and Patrick, in Glen Rock, New Jersey. I was not able to find too much on the web about Grace and her family .. but I think that is a good thing. I think they deserve privacy. I think they deserve to hold their memories and their love close. Some things arent meant for sharing with a world who remains facinated by the attack on the World Trade Center.

From what I have found, Grace was a sweet wonderful woman who loved polar bears, golf and country music, and that is really all I need to know. This attack ended the life of a woman who was loved and who was kind and who, I am sure, is missed very much every day. There is nothing I can do or say that could possibly take away the pain of this loss.. and I will never say it gets easier as time goes on because I know it does not. People need to heal in their own time and in their own way.

What I CAN say to the friends and family of Grace .. is that Grace is not forgotten. Your family is not forgotten. Your grief is not forgotten. May you find strength in your love for Grace and may you find peace in your hearts.

September 11, 2001 was a beautiful crisp day. I woke up early because I had to leave a little early for work for some meetings and then I was off to a store in New Jersey where I was scheduling an in-store event. I remember marvalling at how beautiful the World Trade Center looked on such a clear day. I remember when I was a kid.. they were building the towers.. to me, they were majestic and were a symbol of my childhood in NY. As an adult, they were my beacon home.. I lived just across the river in Brooklyn. I got in my car and drove through the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel, under the World Trade Center at about 8:30am. When I got to my office people were already gathered at the window. "Some plane must have flown off course! It hit the world trade center!"

I made it "just in time" to watch the second plane fly in and hit. We heard it first - that low rumble, the whistle of the jet engines (that sound still affects me today) .. we saw the plane flying way too low and way too fast. It was the most horrific thing I have ever witnessed in my life. We screamed as if we could stop it from hitting with our voices. It was then that we knew this wasnt an accident and fear spread among us like the plague.

We had no phones.. but we did have internet. I was able to get a message off to let people know that I was ok.. and was able to IM a friend from Philly who was online so he could contact Dave and let him know I was ok.

I used to work in the World Trade Center. I was the Asst. Community Relations Coordinator for the Flagship Borders Books and Music that was in Building 5 (the towers were buildings 1&2). My best friend Amy still worked there. I desperately tried calling her.. for hours. Finally somehow, many hours later, she was able to get a call through to me that she was ok.. but she.. she was standing right there at the base of the towers when the planes hit.

My co-workers and I couldn't tear ourselves away from that window. Crying and not knowing what to do we alternately watched the TV we dragged in from the conference room and the towers burning. Then my beloved towers.. one at a time.. in slow motion.. crumbled. My heart broke in to a million pieces.

NYC was on lock down. We couldn't do anything, we couldn't get anywhere and our buildings were evacuated. I went to a co-workers apartment because I felt like I didnt have anywhere to go. I couldn't find my friends and I couldn't get back to Brooklyn (nor did I want to at that point) and I didn't want to be alone... actually I dont even think I knew WHAT I wanted .. we were all in panic and survival mode.

The rest of that day was a blur of the horrific events on repeat. It was played over and over on tv and we just sat there like zombies and watched. My cell phone would ring intermittantly when someone was able to get through to make sure I was ok. There was no sleep that night on a friend's couch.. I dont remember if we ever even ate anything.

The next day, all I wanted to do was go home... but I couldnt. The city was still on lockdown. No subways and no busses, no bridges, no tunnels. Finally at about 3pm we got the word that we could drive home, but expect big delays and possible check stops. I got my car and had to drive all the way to the north to go south to Brooklyn. As I was driving (crawling) on the BQE to get home.. I looked to where I would have normally saw the towers.. and all that was there was still rising smoke. It was then that I sobbed. Those beautiful towers.. and the incredible loss of life hit me like a brick. Strangers in other cars were trying to console me as they cried their own tears. Getting home wasnt any easier. I came home to my stoop littered with financial papers, in-flight magazines and other debris.

Then there was the acrid smell. It is beyond description. Burning buildings and burning flesh scorched my throat. My saliva was black from the poison of it all.

I packed a bag and got back into my car and drove north to Boston to be with Dave. It took me almost 7 hours to get there (normally 4 hours). I called my boss from there and told her I would work remotely, or she could put me down for some vacation days.. I would be back a week later. She was, of course, very understanding and worked with me over the next many months so I could get my work done with the many travel restrictions that were placed on NYC's bridges and tunnels. There were many days in the following months when I watched the sun rise and the smoke still billowing from the ashes.

I write this today because I will never forget that day.. and noone should ever forget. It took me many months to return to "normal" after that (although I do suffer from some Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from it to this day) ... and the smell .. that acrid smell.. lingered just as long.

It's the new style....

Lots going on. Alex has turned six months old. SIX months old. I can hardly believe it. He's such an amazing little boy.. and his laugh just melts me every time. He has a great personality and loves his daddy SO much. He's getting so big and now weighs almost 16 pounds. He's taken to solid foods like a champ and especially likes peaches, squash. sweet potatoes, apple/chicken mixture and bananas. I think he prefers the oatmeal over the rice cereal.

Poor little guy is getting teeth.. one has popped through.. and another is close. This hurts. How do I know? He is CLEARLY in pain. He screams with the pain so much sometimes that it hurts US. Last night was the worst we've seen so far. Motrin seems to help some.. as do frozen bananas (or peaches) in a mesh feeder.. but only if he can stand to have something in his mouth. Right now he's chewing on rubber butterflies but he's still crying. We're waiting for the Motrin to kick in and hopefully he'll fall asleep. Last night (daddy's turn to get up, of course) he slept through the night (which he does sometimes).. tonight it is my turn.. which generally means he wont sleep through the night because thats just how it works.(it is now about 30 minutes later, the crying got unconsolable so we take turns rocking him and humming to him, Dave has him upstairs right now. He did also get his 6 month shots on Friday so this could also be a reason for the extra crying and crankiness)

Today we went into our old neighborhood in Jamaica Plain to their annual Open Studios. The old neighborhood has changed alot and we miss it a little because of some of the places we like but I still like it up here in Salem better. Besides being a little more affordable, I really like being a little more spread out. JP is just so crowded with people and the homes are so close together. I like our big back yard here. We saw an old friend of Dave's so it was nice to catch up a bit.

We started a fun Wishlist/Christmas/Hanukkah/gift list for Alex. There are just some things we need (like a new carseat already) and want and this helps us keep track of what we like. It's fun.. I've always liked wishlists.. its like fantasy shopping... but not as unattainable as my new car and owning a house fantasies.

I think Dave finally has Alex calm and hopefully sleeping... which means I can finally make dinner for us (at 8:15 at night). Here is a picture of our handsome six month old...