When we lived in Jamaica Plain, we lived on the top floor of a triple decker. We had this great roofdeck.. and we had great neighbors that we shared it with for several years. One year, Ciara and Jenny grew a forest of tomatoes up there. We laughed alot because there was barely room for anything but tomatoes. There was alot of tomato sauce that year. We shared many a beer and cigarettes on that roof deck with Ciara.

We just found out that Ciara was killed in Afghanistan. It is possible that she was killed because she was a lesbian. One bullet through the head, in a non-combat situation, wearing civilian clothing, near the church she worshipped at. There has been a call from Senator Kennedy and Senator Kerry for a full investigation. There is no way she committed suicide.

Dave and I are very sad to hear this news. Ciara was.. awesome. She was sweet and kind and helpful. She gave so much of herself to everyone around her. Including all the animals she used to feed from our front porch (this only became a problem when the skunks wanted to be fed, haha). She especially loved the bunny family she shared with her partner Jenny, the bunnies even had their own room.

Although we havent spoken to Ciara in a couple of years.. we definitely thought about her and treasure the time we were able to know her.

We lost contact with Ciara not long after moving to Salem, but I've thought about her and Jenny over the last few years and wondered where they ended up. Hearing this just makes me very very sad. My deepest sympathy goes out to Ciara's family (who she spoke of lovingly and often) and to everyone else who's life she touched.

I hope that her death is properly investigated. According to her family, Ciara made some comments before her death that seemed to indicate she had uncovered something in Afghanistan that put her life in danger. It's also possible that she was murdered because she was a lesbian. Either way, I hope there is some measure of justice. Ciara deserves at least that much.

And much more at lolcthulhu.com!

Thank you, Ectoplasmosis, for showing me the way.

Feeling vaguely unsettled today... mostly because of the date, I think. Not much to be done about that. It will pass, as it does every year, most likely without incident.

Alex is getting bigger, smarter, and funnier everyday. Also stronger and faster. I'm dreading the bitter winter months when it won't be as easy to take him outside to blow off steam. Sure, it's fun to play in the snow, but lately our winters haven't been that snowy. Mostly just cold, which really isn't that much fun. I'm sure we'll figure something out. Lots of trips to the museum probably.

In the picture below, Alex enjoys a hammock on his first camping trip in Maine! The dirty face is from rolling around in pine needles....

I love music, but if I have to be honest, it is rarely a medium that reaches deep into my center and holds on. More often, it's a river that flows around me and maybe helps to carry me downstream for a mile or two. It makes the journey a little more pleasant. Occasionally though, a song comes along that grabs me by the collar, punches me in the gut, and then rearranges my head. Even if just for a few minutes, it alters my brain chemistry . Usually I can't even tell you how or why. What can I say... I never really learned the right language to explain the way my mind works.

Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" is one of those songs. It's been covered by a bazillion artists, including Jeff Buckley, John Cale, Rufus Wainwright, Bob Dylan, Bono, Bon Jovi, and Nerdcore artisan Beefy. While some of those covers are quite good, none of them resonate in my brainbox in quite the same way as Cohen's original 1984 recording. It's something about the timber of Leonard's voice paired the backup singers, and the way they deliver the simultaneously sad and exultant poetry of the lyrics.

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

I want to thank Katrina for introducing me to Mr. Cohen's music back in... oh... 1988. For that, I forgive you for camping out to get Grateful Dead tickets... heh.

So that's one little piece of what's kicking around in my busy head today. Another piece would be Warren Ellis's first novel, "Crooked Little Vein", which I'm about 40 pages from finishing. That deserves it's own post... maybe later today or tomorrow. Wouldn't that blow your mind? Another blog post?

Little dude digs those swingin’ cats!

Alex is really enjoying his new mobility, and as a result, was in a great mood all weekend. Very smiley and social, which is a good thing, since we had such a social weekend.

Sunday, we drove down to Dover to see our friends Tex and Beth, who were visiting from Chicago with their excellent baby Spencer. Tex and I were college and post-college housemates, so we've seen each other go through a lot off changes. He knew me when I had hair... and a beard. Now neither of us has much hair. And we're both responsible working professionals with families. Who knew?

Thanks for the video, Paul!

It was great to see everyone there, especially Chris and Margaret, who were visiting from the UK.

(from “God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater”, 1965)

- Kurt Vonnegut 1922-2007

In the space of a year, from this:

To this:

I can't wait to see what the next year brings!
Happy Birthday, Alex!

1) I'm fairly busy, between work and parenthood. The time between when I get home and when Alex goes to bed is pretty much spent exclusively hanging out with my son. He's way more fun than blogging. The time after Alex goes to bed is mostly spent eating dinner, cleaning, taking care of bills, etc. And admittedly, watching some TV. That's right, sometimes I'd much rather watch Battlestar Galactica than blog.
2) I sit in front of a computer all day at work, and don't really like to do it that much when I'm at home.
3) I'm not a public person and don't really want to be. Unless I know you, I don't really like to share.
4) It takes me awhile to compose my thoughts in writing, and usually the time commitment involved outweighs my desire to write anything in a blog.
5) The parts of my life that I would be willing to post on a public blog would really be of no interest to anyone, including myself. So why bother.

With that said, I have no intentions of deleting this blog. It will stay here... and I'll probably even post to it occassionally. I might try to keep up the book posts, just for my own reference. Who knows. We'll see.

Making Love the Bruce Campbell Way by Bruce Cambell
What can I say... I'm a sucker for Bruce Campbell. Not only is he one of the most entertaining B-movie actors alive today, but he also one gosh-darn funny dude. This is his first novel... kind of a psuedo-autobiographical story of his (completely fictional) big break into the world of A-list movies. Very tongue-in-cheek. Completely over-the-top. Definitely a fun read. Pet peave: Really large type size almost doubles the length of the book. Not sure why that bugs me so much... kinda seems like cheating somehow.

Un Lun Dun by China Mieville
This novel is the brilliant China Mieville's first foray into "young adult" fantasy fiction. Two twelve-year old girls stumble into a through-the-looking-glass version of London, and embark on an epic adventure, meeting all sorts of wacky characters along the way, etc., etc. After the first few chapters, I got the sinking feeling that this was going to be another formulaic Yound Adult "Chosen One on a quest, battling evil" story. I should have had more faith in China. He manages to turn a lot of those conventions on their heads while still keeping it accessible to a young audience. Not my favorite China Mieville novel (read Perdido Street Station and The Scar), but entertaining. I'll probably buy a copy to keep on the shelf until Alex gets a little older.

Fragile Things by Neil Gaiman
A short story collection by "Sandman" creator Neil Gaiman. Like most short story collections, this is kind of a mixed bag. Some good stories, some yawns. Wasn't reallly knocked out by the poetry entries.

Virconium by M. John Harrison
I'm feeling lazy, so I'm just going to paste in this book description form Amazon:
"Available to American readers for the first time, this landmark collection gathers four groundbreaking fantasy classics from the acclaimed author of Light. Set in the imagined city of Viriconium, here are the masterworks that revolutionized a genre and enthralled a generation of readers: The Pastel City, A Storm of Wings, In Viriconium, and Viriconium Nights. Back in print after a long absence, these singular tales of a timeless realm and its enigmatic inhabitants are now reborn and compiled to captivate a whole new generation."
So yeah... beautiful writing, dark, intense, viceral story-telling. I'm really enjoying this one. I haven't gotten to read the last section yet, but I'm looking forward to it.

Since it's January, and I've decided to kick off the new year by trying this experiment. Every time I finish a book, I'll blog the title, author, and at least two sentences about it. I'll categorize them under the tag "What I'm Reading" This seems like a reasonable target. We'll see how long I keep it up. For the purpose of this experiment, I will not be including the books I read to Alex. That might be Phase 2 of the experiment...

With that said...

K-Machines by Damien Broderick
I'm two books into this series (God Players being the first book) and I'm still trying to figure out if I like it or not... The basis of the story, god-like contestants in an ancient and mysterious conflict waging war across multiple realities, had a lot of promise. There are some thought-provoking ideas about the nature of perceived and consensus reality that I like kicking around the old headbone. Unfortunately, I never really developed any kind of emotional involvement with the characters. I wasn't dying to see what happens on the next page. Still, I made it through both books, so it had at least enough of "something" to keep me reading that long.

In my last post, I foolishly mentioned how thankful I was that Liz, Alex, and I had been in such good health over the last year... then completely forgot to knock on wood. Two days later, Alex came down with a nasty gastrointestinal virus that had him spewing out both ends. He was barely able to keep even Pedialyte down. As a result, a few days later our pediatrician advised us to check Alex into the hospital so that they could rehydrate him via IV. Hospitals are awful places in general, but even more so when the patient is your 9-month old son. After a restless night sleeping on cots next to his hospital bed, Liz and I were both exhausted and stressed out. Alex improved quite a bit with the addition of fluids, and we took him home the next day. The doctor even said he would be fine to go to daycare the next day, as long as his diarrhea was not too leaking out of his diapers. That was last Monday.

Things seemed to be getting better, and Alex was able to mostly hold down Pedialyte and diluted formula. Mostly. Then Monday night, within moments of each other, Liz and I both came down with the virus. Great! So that's two sick parents, taking turns going from the baby to the bathroom. So we figure... okay, we just have to make it through the night. Then we can take Alex to daycare, and spend the day sleeping and trying to recover. Tuesday morning I drop Alex off at daycare, come home, and crawl into bed. An hour and a half later, the phone rings. It's daycare. Alex has pooped all over his daycare crib. Explosively. I picture a firehose of poop covering the walls of the daycare nursery. Not pretty. So back I go to pick up Alex. Not "rest day" for Mom and Dad. Back we go to the Pediatrician... he gives us some probiotics to help repopulate his colon with beneficial bacteria and hopefully clear up the "hershey squirts". This is basically yeast. It is very effective, and has the slightly disconcerting side-effect of making his poop smell like freshly backed bread. The doctor also gives us and antibiotic, because on top of everything else, Alex has an ear infection!

Fortunately for Liz and I, it seems to be sort of a 48 hour virus thing. By Wednesday morning, we were feeling much better, but poor Alex was still having trouble keeping full-strength formula down. The probiotics hadn't kicked in yet, so he was also still having explosive diarrhea. Or maybe the anitbiotics were temporarily canceling the effects of the probiotics... who knows. I stayed home with the boy while Liz goes off to work. The poor kid definitely wanted to play and crawl around, but didn't quite have the energy to manage it. He's was able to keep more formula down and seemed to be getting better as the day progressed. The probiotics stared to kick in. Things seemed to be going well.

Thursday, Alex successfully spent the day at daycare, kept down formula and even a little rice cereal.

Thursday night, the cough started.

Alex came down with a terrible hacking cough. He would cough his head off and then scream in pain. Really awful, gut-wrenching stuff. He was also clawing at his ear. We figured the ear infection hadn't gone away and was being irritated by the coughing. We gave him Tylenol and tried to ride it out, but it didn't seem to go away. By Sunday, Alex was still coughing and screaming, but was otherwise much better. When he wasn't coughing, he was playing, laughing and crawling around like his normal self. He was eating his normal food and had a healthy appetite. But the screaming... yikes.

So Monday (MLK Day) morning, Liz calls the Pediatrician and makes an appointment for later in the afternoon. Then Liz becomes deathly ill. Sounds like the flu this time. Great! I take Alex to see the doctor, prepared to demand antibiotics for his ear and possibly antidepressants for his Dad. The doctor can't get a good view inside Alex's ear, so she has to scrape wax out with a scary little wire device. Needless to say, my son is not impressed and lets us know it. Finally, the doc is able to see what she needs to see. His ears are just fine. No infection. He has a cold, she says. The coughing is irritating his throat, and that's why he's screaming. Nothing to do but give him a little benadryl and ride it out. Nice.

So we go home, where my sweet wife is curled up on the couch with a fever and the chills.

That was yesterday. Today I'm back at work, holding my breath, praying that the flu shot that Alex and I got will protect us from whatever crud Liz has. This crazy cycle of sickness has to end.

As a year, 2006 was kind of a personal rollercoaster, but I suppose most years are. Here’s a break-down of the good and bad highlights that leap to mind. Or at least the ones that I’d post about in a public blog. I’m sure that I’m forgetting some highlights, but at least it’s a start. If I think of more, I’ll add them later for posterity.

GOOD: Alexander! On March 28th, Alex was born and changed our lives forever. Every day with him has been an adventure. It’s amazing to watch this kid growing, learning, and developing into a sweet little human being. He really is an incredibly great kid.

BAD: Alexander’s operation. At just a few weeks old, Alex needed surgery. We spent a long awful night at Mass General, with just one cot for Liz and I to share, sleeping in shifts. That, and subsequent tests, have been the hardest part of parenting for me. Seeing my son in such discomfort was really rough.

GOOD: Alex’s Health. Despite early worries and aside from the above-mentioned surgery, Alex was a very healthy little boy in 2006. Hardly more than a sniffle. Liz and I were also fairly healthy, with nothing more serious than an occasional cold or stomach bug.

BAD: financial stress. For various reasons, 2006 was a difficult year for us financially. We barely managed to hold things together and keep ourselves fed, clothed, sheltered, daycare paid for, and bill collectors off our back. There wasn’t room for anything else. This was not a year for disposable income. I hate living so close to the edge, especially with a child to care for. It stresses me out. A lot.

GOOD: we have a financial plan, and barring major catastrophe, we should be in very good shape and relatively debt-free in just a few years.

BAD: My Aunt Leisa lost her struggle with cancer in December. She was good person with a great sense of humor, and will be deeply missed by her family and many friends.

GOOD: Many of our friends joined us in parenthood over the past year. Liza and Jill, Katrina and Ken (on the same day as our baby was born!), Meryl and Gary, Tex and Beth, Carrie and Dave, Dan and Kathy, and that’s just naming a few. 2006 was apparently the year for pumping out babies. Crazy!

BAD: On Christmas eve, our sweet cat Kali passed away. He was a really beautiful, loving, and good-natured little guy. I still can’t believe that he’s gone. We really miss him.

GOOD: Liz started a cool new job doing very interesting stuff for an organization that seems to really appreciate her. It looks like it’s going to be rewarding for her on lots of different levels. And if that wasn’t enough, this organization actually HELPS people!

GOOD: Career development. My job has been slowly evolving, with increased responsibilities and challenges. By rising to meet them, I think I’ve laid the groundwork for good things to happen in 2007. Only time will tell, but signs and portents indicate positive change.

So like I said… ups and downs. I often get frustrated and fixate on the bad, but really 2006 carried more than it’s share of blessings for our family. Losses too, certainly, but I suppose that’s part of living. Really, most of the “Bad” above (with the exception of the passing of loved ones) could have been so much worse. At the end of the year, I have an amazing wife and child. We have enough food, clothing, and shelter. We have our health. We have bright prospects for the future. All blessings, for which I'm profoundly thankful.

So bring on 2007 already.

Thanksgiving was lovely. Our friend Amy visited from NYC for a few days. We spent Turkey Day with my brother Chris, his wife Michelle, my excellent nieces and nephew, and other assorted family members. Good food, good folks, good fun.

Most of the rest of the weekend was spent working, trying to sooth a screaming unhappy baby, or recovering from same. Our poor little kiddo is teething in a big bad way. His top two front teeth are ready to burst through any time now, and they’re making him miserable and feverish. We’re doing everything we can to make him comfortable… infant ibuprofen, frozen chew things, etc. Still, there’s really only so much you can do to dull the pain of small sharp shards of bone forcing their way through flesh. It’s really an awful system. Whoever came up with that intelligent design was one crappy engineer. I’m just saying….

Work is busy. Lots of deadlines and crazy stressful messes caused by outsourcing to other continents in radically different time zones. Checking my email at midnight to answer confused queries from India. Bah.